Learn to speak Southern US

1. JAWJUH- noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
2. BARD- verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
3. MUNTS- noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
4. RANCH- noun. A tool. Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
5. ALL- noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
6. DAYUM- A cuss word Rhett Butler used in "Gone With the Wind." Usage: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a dayum."
7. IGNERT- adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni." Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
8. BAHS- noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
9. BAWL- What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. Usage: "That gal cain't even bawl water without burnin' it."
10. TIRE- noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
11. TARRED- adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Et-lanna, and boy my arms are tarred."
12. OVAIR- In that direction. Usage: "Where's yo paw, son?" "He's ovair, suh."
13. FARN- adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed. .. must be from some farn country."
14. EAR- noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: "He can't breathe. .. give 'em some ear!"
15. JU-HERE- a question. Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"
16. MUCHABLIGE- Thank you. Usage: "Muchablige for the lift, mister."
17. IDINIT- Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying Ain't. Usage: "Mighty hot today, idinit?"
18. SEED- Seen, past tense. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City."
19. VIEW- Have You? Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City! ... view ?"
20. HEAVY DEW- phrase. A request for action. Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

Entirely TOOOOOOOOO much time on your hands???

http://www.tamponcrafts.com/ This is PRECISELY what the post menopausal woman who misses the whole process needs to feel in touch with her "inner woman" or the hysteromy woman's healing therapy???

and if that weren't weird enough.. If you are NEW to the subject and need, perhaps a DEMO and don't mind destroying a barbier in the process.... this site is for you.

http://www.paaady.de/site/unfug/barbie.htm

Or if you just want to convert one from abnormal woman to say a baglady or whatever... here's the place for you.

Now, if you are a HISTORY biff.. There is a SITE for YOU!!!

http://www.mum.org/ We,ve come a LOOOOOONG way baby.

Humming STXY "Too much time on my hands" Oh, if you are under 30, or need a refresher... http://www.styxnet.com/styxlyrics/tmtomh.htm

What Unknown Holiday were YOU born On...

http://library.thinkquest.org/2886/INDEX.HTM

O was born Sept. 2nd... National BEHEADING DAY.....???? Great.

Brain Lost In Nut Garden, HUH? Blingh.

http://www.blingh2o .com/
$125 for a 750 ml bottle of water? The world has officially gone insane.

brought to my attn by IG Stephanie.

Tibetan Personality Test-- Click Here to take

This is what I found out:

The heirarchy of my priorities is as follows : Family, pride, careeer, love, then money.

If I spill too much more I'll ruin it for you. It plays nice tranquil music while you take the test. You will need a pencil and paper. I enjoyed the process-- but it had a deja vu feel to it-- I think I've taken this self assesssment, or one like it before. Maybe in another life??? LOL *smile* I'm kidding.

Foley "We track library books better then pedophiles...."Famous last words

One of the most hilarious things I have read is a spoof denouncement of the IM's that Foley "supposedly wrote to one of several" pages. It's written by the Editorz The link above had me laughing so hard It was a brilliant retooling...http://americablog.blogspot.com/2006/10/abc-former-page-says-foley-solicited.html It's like how Hollywood would go at it if they were putting a spin on it... and the best political comedy writers alive were spinning it-- sadly, it's not really a laughing matter. Maybye that's why we are so desperate to laugh at it. I started reading about it because the HRC (Human Rights Campaign) is pissed cause they are getting backlash from some politicians-saying dismissively- it's a "gay" thing... No, it's a breach of political power, a sick pedophile, with a total lack of integrity taking advantage of his position of power and manipulating young boys to his advantage and for his perverse pleasure-- I'm thinking fox /hen house.

Comediens are having a field day, of course..."Most people think GOP stands for Gay Old Pedophile." --Jay Leno On the HRC site someone commented sarcastically "“Do you think that Foley licks his fingers every time he turns a page?” kinda smarmy, but bookishly a tad funny.
The Republicans are quick to distance themselves from the scandal.. David Letterman joked..."The Republicans reacted quickly. They transferred Foley to a different parish." Creepy thing the whole church republican pedophile thing. JFC, What are these men thinking!!!!???!!!

As far as hypocrisy goes... Here’s a great video clip of Mark Foley saying, “We track library books better than we track pedophiles.” and also:
“Well, if i were one of these sickos, I’d be nervous with America’s Most Wanted on my traill.”
Shameless.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2006/10/01/video-foleywe-track-_n_30682.html

Now, of course, there are more pages coming forward... claiming also to have been solicited... *raise your hand if you are surprised... *rolls eyes)) http://americablog.blogspot.com/2006/10/abc-former-page-says-foley-solicited.html What's it going to take to get this guy charged criminally????