Met a "published" writer playing pool @ yahoo =)

Juan Tafur, or eugenadd which was his yahoo id. He lives in SPAIN. Amazing thing the www. He writes Historical Narratives. It mostly only came up because my busybooklover name... "what do you read" - blah blah blah..." Well, turns out He's married, has a son in school... and just recently their TV set fell on his wife becasue she was pulling the wrong cord! (chord he wrote). (He assured me-- she is okay). His most recent read was "Q" http://www.amazon.com/Q-Luther-Blissett/dp/B000C1ZXH2/sr=8-3/qid=1159584354/ref=pd_bbs_3/104-0699279-2944702?ie=UTF8&s=books That's it the title.

Interesting side note: The book is a collaboration written under a pseudonym. Get this. "Luther Blissett, the "author" of Q is ACTUALLY the name of a Jamaican soccer player who played for AC Milan in the early l980s. He was victimized by Italian fans, whose racist and nasty comments caused his career to take a dive. This hapless fellow inspired a group of Italian artists to appropriate his name and attach it to all manner of projects. There are Luther Blissetts writing, drawing, and carrying out elaborate hoaxes all over the world. Four young Italians in Bologna wrote Q in the mid 1990s. It remains a bestseller in Italy and has become a cult hit throughout Europe." .....So I learned something new today. =)

I mentioned that I'd heard about some strife concerning the Castillian (native) language being politically divisive in Spain rught now (controversy over what language is to be universal language) and he seemed genuinely surprised to hear a SAHM (he didn't know what that was either) Stay-at-home-mom-- was moderatly up on global events. I'm kinda plugged into my computer and one of my favorite parts of my sidebar is "Most Emailed Stories, Most Viewed Stories, Odd News, Offbeat News, Local Technology and World news". I'm pretty sure I clicked a link from the world news section. Anyhow,... he says it was exaggerated but yes... divisive and politically manipulated was the feeling I got. He has written under pseudynyms Carlos Allende (?) Carlos Martin-Parker and many others I did not get all... but I'm curious now-- One of his books is at the local library in Escondido. "The pasion of Mary Magdalena" http://www.amazon.com/pasion-Maria-Magdalena-Mary/dp/9584213059/ref=pd_rhf_p_3/104-0699279-2944702?ie=UTF8 An interesting subject anyways. I've got it reserved and I'll have to WAY DUST OFF my ESPANOL. And, what's more-- I just may get the chance to use the exclusive !~~vosotros~~! Si, only in Espana. Three years of college and everyone saying you'll NEVER use the vosotros... WELL! We will just SEE about that! I am sure it will be beyond my rusty spanish.. but I am curious how much I will be able to read. That and Babel fish (altavista) and I might get through it. It's not too long, I am told.... It's a smaller world that it seems sometimes.

Had a bad day/week??? <-----Click this. Me too.

Thanks Kurura I needed that. ;-)

Why God Made Moms ...accorning to kids & The MOMMY TEST

Why God Made Moms" answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions... Be sure to read the story at the end.....
***(NOTE: I did not write this but I smiled and enjoyed it enough to include it here....)

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats alot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such agoof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff underthe bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at yourfriend's.
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel betterwithout medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kindof plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue. (dye it)

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE MOMMY TEST:

I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been,it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh," I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


CHILDREN IN CHURCH
"Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..." He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?" Church was pretty much over at that point...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
These were mailed to me by a special mom and all made me smile from ear to ear!!!... Thanks =)

The TREE

October is not usually a good month for me. We have a Chinese Elm that drops trou okay okay so it drops seeds but it may as well be mooning me for all the misery it causes me. Itty bitty brown seeds that look like finely ground dried red chili peppers. They blanket the ground, patio furniture, sand box… and if the windows or sliding doors are open. I’m as good as outdoors.
I imagine it to be somewhat like snorting pepper (not that I‘ve DONE this)... a sneeze fest follows and then, as a result I have two major problems. First, I am a runny nosed, watery eyed mess-- tissue anyone?? PLEASE! I have to ask, how on EARTH can all that snot not be there one minute and conjure itself up en masse the next??!! The miracle of my body membranes dislike of this tree is what. The second problem is somewhat more embarrassing. By the way WARNING**If you are a man, skip to conclusion…for the TREE wrap up.** Well, ladies… you may have guessed it … birthing babies and out of control sneezing makes for one thing. The quick leg cross. Yup, the lets avert the squirt stance. Sneezing, uncontrolled laughter… years ago. I was golden. Not to confuse you-- golden as in “held it, no problem“. Now, well… pushing out a 9 pound baby changes a few things. And don’t give me any of your kegel sphiel . I don’t buy it. Women have been doing that all their lives at sporting events, theme parks, theaters, YOU NAME IT. Whilst the men folk are a constant revolving door of relief…we are a long snaked line of kegel practicing leg-crossed, antsy women often desperate enough to discussing hijacking the sure to be disgusting “MENS” facilities. The occasional line crosser actually stooping to such a desperate measure. (Usually in a venue where beer and or wine is being served, so that the bladder is fuller and the inhibitions lower). But anyways.
**Men reenter at this point**
I’ve surrendered a solid month out of every year to this admittedly beautiful, shady, bird haven. But… I can’t guarantee it will be here next year. It started earlier than usual this year because of the odd weather pattern and so it encroached on my SEPTEMBER!!! Pre-daylight savings. This tree has crossed a line and I’m getting tired of being claritinized for a solid month out of every year. My husband made his first mention of maybe getting a pool someday…. Man oh MAN am I SO jumping on THAT bandwagon. But, it’s really kind of a shame… the tree will have to go. *ear to ear grin*

NBC, BACHELORS AND BITCHIN* ICE.

I'm pretty far removed from single-hood. I've been married *murmur* odd years... (nearly two decades) Well, married in June of 1989. Our wedding was featured, in fact, on NBC Sunday Today show with Maria Shriver! (Ooooh, Aaaaah) Yes, Mrs. Arnold... our current Governor.

We were selected by the church at random to be "screened" as potential candidates for a "June is the month of Brides" type featurette they were going to do. Did I care if they gave them my number. Naw.. No biggie. I didn't know what it was about but I wasn't a high-strung bride. I wasn't running around in circles wringing my hands over tiaras, bridesmaids dresses, reception venues or caterign minutiae. So why not??- It sounded fun.

A woman called me by the name of Anne Opotowsky-- can't forget a name like that. We chatted on the phone for Oh 30-40 minutes... she was easy going, nice... asked questions about my Mom and Grandmother. Asked if either of THEM would agree to be interviewed. I said.. No IDEA. You'd have to ask 'em. I don't see why not. Turns out neither one minded much. We were all flown to Los Angeles for interviews (Oh and my then fiance too). They wanted to film my wedding, maybe the rehearsal, yada yada... No problem. So it was a go. They put a 15 min segment together about three generations of brides. (First my grandma during WW2, then my Mom, married and divorced 4 times. Then they went on to speculate on where WE were headed. (My fiance and I) It was really quite cool to have it documented that way... there was a voice over comment they must have asked my step-dad (Who I call Dad) How he thought we'd fare... and his answer aired on national TV. He gave us a thumbs up...of course I'm largely paraphrasing. That was cool too. NBC was at the reception -- in my in-laws backyard... it was low key but we all had a fabulous time.



You are wondering... WTH does ALL THIS have to do with bachelorhood???!!! Well.. it puts into perspective how long ago it was I was living on my own to appreciate this bachelor (could be a bechelorette) novelty.

We were at a bookcrossing http://bookcrossing.com/ meetup at a friends BRAND new place. The FIRST people over! Very much like launching a boat, sans champagne. We were getting the full tour and in the full pride of bachelorhood.... He opened kitchen cuppoards to show how they were all bare. Yup. Mother Hubbard's got nuthin' on him. *(Last place on EARTH I want to be when the big one hits, btw). Now I'll GRANT you it had a leather chair to DIE for and HDTV that would rival actually being there. It's just I'm thinking the power will go out and the microwave will be out... so they'd just find my malnourished bones, weeks later- in the amazing chair.

So, back to the story-- the tour is just about over... but not just yet. "Hey, there's something neat I've got to show you guys... It really works great", he says. Perhaps trying to convince us all he will survive a natural disaster afterall??? He opens the freezer and pulls out a fast food beverage cup with the original ice-- refrozen. Let me describe the cup. It has old ice in it--all Coke colored or Dr. Pepper or Pepsi tinged around the edges. He lights up... "REALLY, this is great!!! It keep the soda from getting that watered down taste! You should try it!! I've had this same cup now, oh a couppla months.. I use it every day! And.. it gets SO cold... EVEN if I use Seven UP it doesn't even get the coke taste... I just put it back in the freezer and perma-frozen ice-- ready-to-go!"

Now why didn't I think of that???!!!!! I have a first aid kit that RED CROSS would be proud of, a cupboard that visitors ooohh and aaahh over and say things like ... "save me a spot when the end is near" and "waiting for a nuclear disaster?" and things like that. BUT, I hadn't thought of THAT. I think I'm too far removed from the bachelor/ette days. It is DEFINATELY something I would have done twenty years ago. If I'd thought of it. C'est la vie. I DID suggest that In-and-Out has a COOL beverage cup (palm trees) for a stylish look that doesn't speak to a preference for Burger King, Jack-in-the Box, McDonalds..... Or tip off any future bachelorettes to your dining preferences. (Besides, In -and-Out has a hip kind of vibe if you are GONNA admit to doing fast food). SO next time I happened to be driving by an In and Out-- I'm gonna pull in and ask for a small or medium cup of ice to go. (come on,...Freeezer space is limited in a MARRIED's freezer). Next time we have a meetup over there I'm gonna peek in the freezer... if there are TWO cups... I'll know there's something (you know) going on... ;-)

I'm pretty sure NBC hasn't done a featurette on this recycled ice thing....
but you never know. I wonder what Anne Opotowsky is up to these days?

FOOTNOTE: *BITCHIN: http://http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bitchin

Aw crap, who took my name???/ Urban Dictionary

Alright, I'm ready to spill on this one. I may need my http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=%s Urban Dictionary to know if I was Gellin http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gellin or Jellin... http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jellin%27 Just a sec...* time elapses * Okay... technicallly I was Jellin' . But more accurately I was Brain Dead... no pilot in the cockpit. Kids. Sleep deprivation. Over exposure to KPBS and under exposure to adults... it happens. So, I'm jazzed about starting a blog cause lots of my book reading and funny friends have them. I google a free blogger get this one... NO!, YES! (GITTHEFCKOUTTAHERE!) Eddie Murphey in the Art Gallery- (LOve that scene)... YES!... REallly!!!-- THIS VERY ONE!. I start the process of signing up for my standard name... and CRAP! someone's already TAKEN IT! Man, in this world you get in line just a LITTTLE late and you miss the fricken bus. Well... Sacre Bleu!!! (Lumiere in Beauty and the Beast) you'll never guess who TOOK my name. *dramatic pause* Me. Yep, Brain Dead. I started a blog two years ago and, um... FORGOT. I'm 42 and already my brain is used up. Apparently, there is no room for new information. Nothing since 1999 has really stuck. A little short term here and there... but like so much plaque it gets brushed away by the next thing that comes along. SO, ... all I had to do was run through a battery of possible passwords (thank GOD they were PRE 1999!) and BINGO. I got Busybooklover. Good thing I was gonna busta move http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=busta+move on that Hoochie mama! http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hoochie


By the way... Here's the def. for Brain Candy ;-) http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brain+candy

Don't get lost over there.... it's a jungle!

Ego bashing-- the American way??

My friend has this insidious little e-game on her blog that gets under your skin... Its called "blufr" The tag line for this little amusement is "BLUFR... bruising your ego one bluf at a time"

I don't know what surprises me more, that it's so brazenly says what it does or that it is somewhat alluring to see if you can "match wits" with the blufr and avoid the promised ego bruising. We are such a ego-driven society. LOOK AT ME, LOOK WHAT I CAN DO.. HEY I"M SPECIAL... CHECK IT OUT!!! So, hey, I think to myself, this Blufr site is on to something. Cashing in on the all american need to rise above the masses. Pretty smart, actually. Trivia (a la Who want's to be a millionaire) PLUS instant gratification... You know IMMEDIATELY if you were blufed or not. Very Siskel and Ebert-- Thums UP or DOWN.

Well, on my first"blufd" question.. (You are required to respond WAY! or NO WAY!) I was dead to rights blufd. No question. Then I caught on.. They BAIT you. They give you ASTONISHING facts that SEEM completely outlandish... I was on a roll.... three correct in a row than BAM! My inflated ego took a direct hit.

Now, I should have known. It was a set up. They changed tact. They had to. They can't survive with a predictable ratio of astonishing facts. I was deflated, temporarrily. But I'm sure I'll be back. I have to prove I'm better that THAT!!! It's the American Way.
http://www.blufr.com/index.php?bluf_id=995&sid=e891ea656c0b4d54296aca8f08e71501&way.x=23&way.y=29

"ZOO PAL" Wars

Nevermind suicide bombings half way around the world and that people are giving their LIVES in a struggle to fight for normalcy in their daily existence. My girls' wars are so infuriatingly banal that I have to ask myself... How is it that they are missing the BIG PICTURE HERE? I will be serving them dessert, and if dishes are done-- often on ZOO PAL plates! http://www.amazon.com/Hefty-Pals-Plates-Case-Pack/dp/B000E0FZR4/sr=8-12/qid=1158080701/ref=sr_1_12/102-1113390-9295342?ie=UTF8&s=hi FUN, right???? Or if I don't feel like DOING dishes and, as is often the case, we are having a dipping condiment meal--that requires ketchup,or syrup. (Okay... so I'm not a big fan of doing dishes... I admit it...busted.)

There is no rhyme or reason why one night the whale is what they fight over... or another night it's the cat (it's a tiger MOM!). okay, the tiger. They grasp onto whatever is currently relatable in their pretend play and THAT is what determines "it" status. "Mommy, I wanted the crab!) (Oh, did we just watch Spongebob?? So now it's Mister Krabs???) Or, it ends up going something like this: "Mooooommm, I wanted the *insert random animal* because we were just playing *insert random make-believe game*!!! It's not faaaaaaaaaiiiiir!!!!". *sigh*

Well, It may not work internationally for politics... but in MY house. Everyone gets the SAME ZOO PAL now. So much for choice. I pick the next two that come in pair and voila... that's what you get. I don't know if there is a exact parallel in political science... but coming from a fairly liberal mom... I'm a bit ashamed to say that these innocent, goofey smiley paper plates with the dipping sauce ears have driven me from a Montessori concept-loving, free-spirited nurturing mom to a bit of a dictactor.

I'll pass on the cigars though.

Bittersweet--- SuperStars 'n Stripes

Usually I love to hear about my 5 year old daughters day at school. Today, MONDAY Sept 11, 2006 she got a superstar! (For outstanding behavior) She alone had remembered the teacher was going to call the pencil box a "toolbox". The teacher had forgotten all about what she had said on friday but my eager beaver girl reminder her. Wow, Her first SUPERSTAR. Proud moment. Unfortunately it was overshadowed by the loss of a sliver of innocence. The teacher was probably absent minded because today she had to explain to a room full of children what 9/11 meant and why it was a "special day". My daughter came home and explained about the bad men on the plane and what they did. All I could say was, "I'm really proud of you honey."

Free Tickets! Heck Yeah!

Stay at home mom's life are nothing, if not predictable. We rotate around our families lives like the sun and moon creating their days and nights and cleaning up the messes that that transition seems to nessecitate. When a neighbor came over yesterday offering up free tickets to Humphrey's Concert by the Bay concert...

I didn't recognize either band but I was so willing to shuck the husk of motherhood for one night I said "YES!"before she could change her mind. In my state of mild hysteria (that I was going to maybe get a night out) I called my sister in law---(Dadddy would have to do babysitting on such short notice) I called her home and voice mail, and left messages... Hurry call me back the show starts at 7:00!-- Then my husband, dear sweet man, reminded me... Uh, hon... She's in Hawaii. Oh MAN, I forgot... that's right,... on a cruise.. I forgot.. SO excited I was to have the possibility of a night out that someone elses cruise suddenly paled in comparison. A little pathetic maybe? HEY, I wear the title "stay-at-home-mom" proudly... but, if you have an active brain cell- you just need a break from it ...occasionally.

So I called my super busy always has a thousand things going friend because if anyone can squeeze in one more thing into a bulging calendar (on a dime)... it is she. Besides. We never stop laughing when we are together. She's spontaneous and we both get that bread is like mommy herion. Panera is a chain selling the BEST bread out there-- hiding behind the "Christian curtain"... but they are dealers sure as we are junkies. She even did a "drive by breading one day!" I swear! A sourdough baguette... I was in bliss. I don't rememeber the reason.. Maybe I was PMSing... bummed about something... but she knew just what I needed--gave me a freebie.
So, I digress... Of course... she juggles a husband and two kids into new evening plans and viola-- she's free. The saying about if you want something done ask the busiest person you know... well... It's true.

Anyways... she shows up and is chatting with my hubby and jokes "So we're taking your new BM-er,... riiiight????" I walk in .. "hey good idea... hadn't thought if THAT". He's fumbling the ball (to use a sports analogy, which I hate), "Uh, well I wouldn't even like to leave it out there you know the DIRT,... ." "So we'll VALET... she jokes... (not meaning it- just enjoying his squirming) ...Sound good?" "Uh, well... I only have less that a quarter tank... She cut's him off I was JOKING... really it's NO BIGGIE! I say, "NO, It's a GREAT idea!, I'll wash it if it gets dirty" So.... 10 minutes later... We are out the door. Brand new BM-er and all.

The concert was AMAZING... we saw Southside Johnny and the Fabulous Thunderbirds. We were the youngest people there, BUT we only paid $8.00 for valet parking.... (which was kind of a SCAM.... I parked it MYSELF!) We DID, HOWEVER, have a TOTAL BLAST!

She'll have to tell you about the 60 year old lady in the bathroom with the ill-fitting-hand made CORSETT!, The "odd" (read menage) couple, The dancing androgynous man/woman, and the guy running up and down the aisles who was either separated from his inhibitions or had some form of developmental problem, The top-notch-security guard at the gas station who - D'oh... forgot to put on his GAS CAP!!, the granny-panty trophy wife, or any one of a number of things we laughed our backsides off about.
http://debbieschroeder.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/09/tuff_enough.html
Oh yeah. One more thing. The lead singer announced that last year , same venue, he asked if there was anyone in the audience woman, early 40's.... who had a yacht... who would consider doing his ironing.... *wink wink* He said he didn't get any offers...
So this year same qualifications... he announced if anyone was interested...had a yacht... would do his ironing... he might even be willing settle for a man... Thet's when I reached in my pocket pulled out and jokingly waved my BM-er keys.
We had a good giggle over that.

http://www.southsidejohnny.com/
http://www.fabulousthunderbirds.com/

Future topics to include

• To B or not to B-log?
• Aw crap, who took my name???
• Zoo Pal Wars
• Bachelor SUPER secrets revealed--
• Obituaries and "Exes"
• playground politics (Okay we'll call it a "team")
• Hey man... can you "score me" some Bread??
• no armpit photos at MY house!
• curses, damned perimenopause!
• coffee, prozac, PMS and closet organizing
• keyboard envy
• my kids brain twists (quotes from the under 7 set)
• WICKED, Rat Pack, Avenue Q
• JOSIE!
• My breakdown alone on I-5... or, picked up by an indian (with a dot, not feathers) truck driver
• Music that plays me.
• Beware the PARENT VOLUNTEER!

It's been two years since my last blog, father...

For whatever reason... I forgot I started a blog. Children have that side-effect. Short-term memory loss. A friend started a blog and I read it-- got jazzed and thought , gee, I'm amusing, witty, clever and golly--people like me. I could do that. Funny thing was, I ALREADY DID! Okay so I admit to being a seven year sleep deprived mom who had perhaps been a bit on the indulgent side with her kids. "Watch your step honey- my umbilical cord is RIGHT THERE!! Oh, for heaven's sake.... didn't I WARN YOU... sorry, I'll get a Scooby-Doo Band Aid."

Well, I am a loving Mom. Of that point, there is no dispute. My REALLY TRULY AMAZING, multi-job always working, (e-based-company, AND travel agent on the side...) friend who used to be a paramedic, mom of two boys-- who are also super active in sports, church, reading and just your basic philanthropic endeavours---(very much like they are interviewing for colleges next semester...Did I mention they are, Oh, still in elementary school!) Well, back to my point.. She says (get this) I'm amazing... cause I made my girls Halloween costumes last year. Okay they were very nice... and I'll admit to some vicarious fun that was not intended (for shame) for THEM! But, it was a one shot deal. In and out.. Beginning, middle, end... done. Not quite as amazing as sustaining it over time in like eleven radiating directions... but, Um... thanks for the vote of confidence... I guess this means I'm making 'em something again THIS year. Crap. It's already september. W-t-h am I doing BLOGGING for crying out loud!!!

*Update September 12, 2006* Formy AMAZING FRIEND'S BLOG retort... http://debbieschroeder.typepad.com/my_weblog/2006/09/the_uber_mom.html Read her blog. "Just a little type A". Apparently I am "UBER MOM". :^)